Hand Me Down a Strong Panacea

One that's guaranteed to make me feel like Hercules...

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I feel sick. I can feel the germs creeping into my bloodstream.

Then you should go to the doctor. Before it gets worse.

I don't trust doctors.

Okay.

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I was really mad at you. When you went on that three-day booze cruise and slept with that girl from Finland. The one with the fake tits.

That wasn't me. I've never been on a Cruise. I've never slept with a girl from Finland.

No?

No.

Well then I'm mad at you about leaving for Vegas without me when I was 10 minutes late coming back from Walgreens.

That was your ex-boyfriend. That wasn't me.

Are you sure? I remember running after your ancient BMW.

Your ex had the ancient BMW. It wasn't me. It's not my style to leave without you. It's more my style to wait and stew about it, then resent you for the entire trip.

Oh. Well, then I'm mad at you for forgetting my birthday.

No. I never forgot your birthday. Even when you weren't speaking to me, I'd remember your birthday. And send you cards you never acknowledged.

Oh. Then why am I mad at you?

I don't know. If I knew, I could do something about it.

Oh.

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I think maybe I need to spend some time alone. Maybe Howard Hughes had it right after all.

Real Piano vs. Blips and Bloops

Nice Way to End a Shit Week

Why is it that companies often hire people who are staggeringly incompetent (but aggressively arrogant at the same time)?

After a week of dealing with people like that (okay, just one person, but she's so heinous it feels like there are 4 of her), I need something relaxing... like this:



And here's the original:

Meanwhile Back on Ukulele

It's been a while since I checked in on the Beatles Complete on Ukulele project , which now boasts 124 Beatle songs performed in a variety of ways, in a variety of styles, but all with a Uke. New songs released each and every Tuesday.

Here's what caught my attention this time:

Erin Bowman combines great vocals, up-to-the-minute studio sounds, and back-to-the-50s Ukes for a bizarre and interesting take on "It's Only Love." Read more and listen here.

The Big V offer a more traditional rock take on "Misery" -- and the essay accompanying it say that Alan Clarke and Graham Nash (from the Hollies) threw in lyric suggestions that were included in the Beatles version. Yeah, the uke seems like an afterthought, but still, give it a listen.

Sharlotte Gibson brings phased, layered vocals, simple uke lines, and gorgeous string hits to a cover of "Hello Goodbye" that sounds like it could have been a hit in the early 70s. Listen here.

Beyond Barbecue

Originally published last year...

It's easy to forget the reasons for holidays.

Beyond the three-day weekends. Beyond burgers and barbecues. Beyond the unofficial start of summer and the promise of longer days and the freedom of warmer weather and school being out.

Memorial Day is about something else. It's a chance to remember and honor sacrifice.

I didn't understand that as a kid; probably no kids really do.

But the past several years, I've been rediscovering the real meaning of holidays like Memorial Day and Labor Day (which bookend summers in the U.S.).

Which brings me to what inexplicably is my favorite XTC song. (Which is far from their catchiest song or their best-known song or even their best-written song.)

The first time I heard this, it resonated with something deep inside me. The evocation that happens with the best music? Some kind of trapped intergenerational memory of another lifetime? I don't know.

But I knew the first time I heard this that it was profoundly meaningful to me. So on Memorial Day, there's only one song I want to hear:

RIP Gil Scott-Heron

The Revolution Will Be Live

Frost on the Rigging

Hurry and See

The slow-motion movement of the first rays of dawn.

Cold, withering glances on the streets.

Hurrying along sidewalks dusted with snow, slippery beneath.

The bundled-up masses moving past me. Everyone filled with purpose, needing to be somewhere.

And I have somewhere to be, too.

But I'm not there. And as the sun moves slowly up into the sky, melting icicles on the side of the building, I stop and watch the slow, slow dripping.

Wondering how it can become a torrent... and whether that will happen anytime soon.

Craigslist Ads and the New Wave Songs That Love Them #8

Rapture Edition

So they say the world is ending on Saturday.

Do you really think you're gonna get raptured? If so, do you wanna spend all eternity regretting not hooking up with me?

If not, do you wanna spend the next 12 hours regretting not hooking up with me?

Plus, if we don't get raptured, I'll buy you brunch on Sunday.

Plus, I'm sure Jesus would want you to hook up with me.

Well, pretty sure.