Tumbling in Turmoil

I may be the last person in the world to know that the Everly Brothers sung on this song.

RIP, Phil.

Armistice Day

Veteran's Day.

Used to be Armistice Day. On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month.

Used to be on November 11.

Made a Monday holiday starting in 1971. Switched back to November 11th in 1978. (Conveniently on a Monday this year for the best of both worlds.)

And yes, it means something.

And no, it doesn't mean supporting war.

And yes, there's a lot of things that are horrible about war. Many, many things.

But we'll leave those for another time.

For now, we honor those who served.

Snow Was Falling, Drifts Were High

Stranded

Late at night.

The roads closed ahead.

People pulled over. Sleeping in cars. Engines still running because it was cold.

And one diner. Open all night.

Long since out of pie. Long since out of burgers.

They had coffee (which I don't drink). And some other stuff with caffeine.

And I sat in a booth for hours. Crammed with three others, people I didn't know.

They talked. I listened. A little.

They talked more. I stared out the window.

Watched the snow.

And wondered. Waited. Watched.

Around 4am a State Trooper came in. Said the rode was open. Or would be.

The men stumbled from booth to cash register.

I stayed behind. Still happy to be warm.

Not wanting to go out to the cold car yet.

Not wanting to clear the windshield. Or wait for the heater to kick in. Or wait behind the trucks and the cops for the road to open.

The waitress came over. Brought me some toast. It was the only thing the kitchen still had.

Tried to give me coffee. But I don't drink coffee.

She eyed me funny. Looked me up and down.

"Maybe you should wait until first light then."

So I did.

What to They is The God of Their Own Choice

From 1993

Hard not to love this:


ART GARFUNKEL the breakup by orpheus4u

You Can Dance with the Queen of Corona

Dance, Dance, Dance All Right!

It's hard to know what to love more - Paul Simon corrupting the youth of America with his casual tale of lawbreaking and imprisonment (for sexual escapades or student protests?) or the young girl who's oblivious to Simon's version of the song and just wants to make up her own words.



Special Saturday Bonus: Whenever I throw away a used piano, I give it to a Grouch...

Every Generation Throws a Hero Up the Pop Charts

There are stories for both of these...

I'll tell them someday.



But not just yet.

Flags Over the Supermarket

Years Ago, We Watched the Flags

We stood in front of the supermarket. The one on the hill.

And there were flags on the roof. A dozen flags with the name of the supermarket.

No American flags. No state flags. Just the flags of the supermarket.

"Maybe the store is its own sovereign nation," I said.

And she thought for a second and shook her head. "I'm pretty sure we're still in California."

Years later, I stand in front of the same supermarket. On the same hill.

The name on the building has changed. One giant supermarket chain bought another one and rebranded all the locations.

And since I moved 3 miles away, I never go to the store on the hill anymore. The one that was "our" store, then "my" store.

The still have flags on top of the building, even if the name on the flags is different now.

I thought I heard her voice and turned. And she was standing there. Older.

"Isn't this the store you claimed was part of Nevada?" she asked.

And I smiled sadly. And shook my head, watching the flags flap in the ocean breeze.

Opening Lines

It's All About the First Impression.

A reader emailed me to ask about my favorite opening line for a song.

It depends on my mood. Sometimes I love lines like "I was born in a crossfire hurricane." Sometimes I'm in the mood for Robyn Hitchcock's intricate wordplay.

But, right now, off the top of my head, here's my list of Top 11 Opening Lines I love. (Tomorrow the list would be different and I might even be able to limit it to 10.)

11. The Nerves -- "Hanging on the Telephone"
I'm in the phone booth, it's one o'clock uh huh.
Yes, kids, before cell phones there used to be phone booths. Just ask Superman. (And, yeah, this song existed even before Blondie covered it.) It's the "uh huh" that gets me.

10. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers "I Need to Know"
Well the talk on the street says you might go solo.
Slick Hollywood posturing and powerful music covering up a broken heart.

9. Badfinger "Day After Day"
I remember finding out about you...
My second-favorite Badfinger song. (And a pretty great George Harrison slide-guitar solo, too.)

8. XTC "Dear Madam Barnum"
I put on a fake smile and start the evening show...
Best romance-as-circus-act metaphor ever.

7. Immaculate Machine "Broken Ship"
We are sailing on a broken ship and only one of us can survive.
Stripped-down instrumentation, simple sparse lyrics, and an emotional vocal that tries desperately to be hopeful despite the pervading sense of doom. (Plus, how can you resist a song that includes the line "cello, play us off"?)

6. Warren Zevon "Werewolves of London"
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand walking down the streets of Soho in the rain.
I know I've had days like that... and I'm pretty sure you have, too.

5. Paul Simon "Kodachrome"
When I think back on all the crap I learned in High School it's a wonder I can think at all...

4. Joe Jackson "Is She Really Going Out with Him?"
Pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street...
Just. Freaking. Perfect.
There isn't a guy alive who hasn't had this thought.

3. Graham Parker "You Can't Be Too Strong"
Did they tear it out with talons of steel?
Haunting song that explores a controversial issue from a point of view that's usually ignored.

2. John Lennon "God"
God is a concept by which we measure our pain...
The "dream is over" song... still beautiful and visceral 40 years later.

1. Billy Bragg "Life with the Lions"
I hate the asshole I become everytime I'm with you.
It's funny because it's true. And I know we've all been there.



So... there's my list. Tell me the ones you think I should've included.

A Toot and A Snore (and 2 TV Commercials)

An important part of the mythos of John Lennon is the 18-month "Lost Weekend" he spent in Los Angeles after separating from Yoko Ono. The official account is that Lennon drank, got high, and screwed around with May Pang while getting nothing done. While the drinking, drugging, and screwing are certainly true, Lennon actually got a ton done during that Lost Weekend.

Sure, he was thrown out of the Troubador when he and Harry Nilsson drunkenly heckled the Smothers Brothers (with Lennon wearing a tampon on his forehead), but during that 18 months, Lennon also:

• Produced the Nilsson album Pussy Cats,


• Recorded a bunch of oldies with producer Phil Spector (as part of a settlement of a lawsuit brought by Morris Levy from Roullette Records, who claimed Lennon stole parts of "Come Together" from Chuck Berry's "You Can't Catch Me" -- but agreed to drop the suit if Lennon recorded three songs Levy's publishing company owned),


• Spent time with his song Julian (whose grade-school drawing reportedly inspired the song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"), whom he hadn't seen for years,


• Wrote and Recorded the Walls and Bridges album (which featured Julian drumming on one song),


• Recorded his single to hit #1 in his lifetime (not counting the dozens of Beatle singles), "Whatever Gets You Through the Night" (with Elton John on piano and vocals),


• Performed three songs with Elton John live at Madison Square Garden,


• Co-wrote and sang on David Bowie's song "Fame,"


• Wrote, sang and played on Ringo's "Goodnight Vienna,"


• Hosted a weekly jam session at a rented house in Santa Monica (almost everyone who participated in these jam sessions is now in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame),


• Fought back against attempts by J. Edgar Hoover and Richard Nixon to have him deported,


• Reunited with Paul McCartney in the studio for a jam session that also included Stevie Wonder, Bobby Keys, and Jesse Ed Davis (widely bootlegged under the title A Toot and A Snore in '74,


• Recorded a radio commercial for Tower Records,


• Appeared on the Grammy Awards and made bad jokes with Paul Simon (when Art Garfunkle accepted the award for Olivia Newton John, who won Record of the Year, the first thing Simon said was "I thought I told you to wait in the car"),


• And made these two TV commercials (links one and two for Gmail subscribers):

Not bad for a "lost weekend."

PS: Ringo, the aliens want their cheap special effects back.

Laziest Rock 'n' Roll Books

Christmas Product: Books



It's hard to imagine there are lazier excuses for books than Paul Simon's Lyrics 1964-2008 (which contains a very brief introduction and then his song lyrics laid out for $36) or Ringo Starr's Postcards from the Boys (which reprints postcards sent to Ringo over the years by the other Beatles for $25).

At least Paul Simon wrote these lyrics (and even if it's absurd, you still get more than 400 pages). Ringo's book repackages other people's artwork and other people's words (with a sentence comment on each postcard) in a book that's barely over 100 pages.

These books are so lazy that I can't even work myself into a good lather of outrage. (I mean, if Paul Simon and Ringo Starr are too lazy to write a real book, I'm too lazy to mock them mercilessly.)

So, if you've got $61 burning a whole in your pocket, don't buy these books... go buy some music!

Merry Christmas.