When the Toe Rings, Don't Answer

Every girl I know has got some... soul.

What is it about girls with toe rings?

Either they're crazy and worship Motley Crue or they're tie-dyed hippies who worship at the bongwater of the Grateful Dead, or (if you're lucky) they're the geeky power pop grrrls with indie-rock retro glasses.

One summer, I lived near a used-record store located above a Chinese restaurant. I would go in there twice a week after work and browse through the "new arrivals" section. One evening, I saw a gorgeous redheaded girl with a toe ring. She bought a used record by the dBs, so I did too.

The record was great -- one of the original Albion ones -- filled with catchy tunes, good beats, and great harmonies. If there's a soundtrack to summer, this would have to be on it:


In an alternate universe, the dBs would have become superstars and the redheaded girl and I would have had a torrid love affair that lasted (on and off) for the better part of a decade. But, as I've said before, we sadly don't live in that universe. So all that summer, I waited for the redheaded girl in that used-record store that smelled of sticky red sauce and fried rice. She never reappeared. Over the years I bought all the dBs records I could find (but sadly didn't buy a near-mint copy of their "cassette in a can," which is now worth big bucks on eBay).

Years later, on impulse, I went back into that store again. The Chinese restaurant was gone, replaced by an Indian restaurant (which only lasted a few months). Over the wafting aroma of curry, I picked up a copy of the dBs album Like This on CD.

She's got soul but I don't know. Every girl I know has got some soul...

As I turned around, the redheaded girl was behind me. She looked at the CD and smiled. "I liked them better before Chris Stamey left," she said.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, me too! Hey, do you wanna-"

And she cut me off. "I've got a boyfriend." I looked down at her feet. She was wearing socks. Any toe rings she may have been wearing were cut off from public view. "But enjoy the CD."

I nodded sadly and paid for the CD. (Link for Gmail subscribers.)


The toe ring giveth... and the toe ring taketh away.