I've got a great idea. Let's solve the problem of people not having jobs by cutting government programs, getting rid of pensions, destroying unions, and raising taxes and fees on people who can barely afford to live.
Oh, and let's let the insurance companies rack up record profits while we cut benefits to people who need them so that people who are unemployed literally cannot afford health care and decide that robbing a bank is a great way to get coveragesince our society has ruled that depriving prison inmates of health care is cruel and unusual punishment (but depriving the poor is just the American way).
And then let's give tax breaks to people who don't need it and companies that already pay little or no tax.
Because, if you listen to anyone on the Sunday Morning Talk Shows, that's the only way to get ourselves out of this economic mess.
Once he was the grinder, now he has to work for hire
"Your passive-aggressive mastery of the art of stealing office supplies does not make you James Bond," she said.
"Maybe not," he answered. "But I could kill you 16 different ways with a paper clip."
She nodded. "Fine talk from someone who doesn't even realize I've got your stapler."
He glanced down at her hands, distracted by the silver flash of the stapler, clearly marked "Property of Engineering Department - Do Not Remove." But here it was... in his apartment.
He began to sweat, wishing he'd worn something other than a white tuxedo.
"Do you expect me to talk?" he asked. "Do you want the launch codes? My secrets about the location of assets?"
She smiled and dropped the stapler. "No, Mr. Bond. I expect for you to go down to the casino, win thousands at baccarat, foil an evil scheme or two, and return to me."
He nodded. "I can do that."
But she was gone. Because he couldn't do that. Not in a hastily constructed cookie-cutter room above an Indian casino in the Midwest. Not when he was wearing a t-shirt and jeans instead of a tux and drinking vodka straight from the bottle.
And probably not even if he'd been in Monte Carlo and wasn't afraid to go into the casino.
Looking into the mirror, he realized that the dream he'd clung to since he was 8 in a darkened movie theater was slipping away.
Because he'd never be James Bond. No matter how many Uniball pens and sealed packets of Post-It notes he had hidden away in his closet at home.
Sometimes there are benefits (pun intended) to living in Los Angeles.
Last night I went to a benefit concert put on by Charles Fox for the Fulfillment Fund (a mentoring group for at-risk High School students).
The concert featured Jeff Barry (who wrote so many great songs with Ellie Greenwich), David Pack (from the band Ambrosia), Richard Marx, Felix Cavaliere (from the Rascals), Norman Gimbel (Fox's longtime songwriting partner), songwriter Allee Willis, and many others.
Fox has written a ton of songs you know (including lots of 70s TV theme songs -- "Love American Style," "Happy Days," etc., etc.), but my favorite song that he wrote was "I Got a Name," recorded by Jim Croce in the early 1970s.
Yeah, it's got the requisite cheesy 70s strings, but I keep thinking the time is right for a great indie-rock remake of this song.
And in the meantime... enjoy Jim Croce singing a classic song written by Gimbel & Fox:
It's been a while since I checked in on the Beatles Complete on Ukulele project , which now boasts 124 Beatle songs performed in a variety of ways, in a variety of styles, but all with a Uke. New songs released each and every Tuesday.
Here's what caught my attention this time:
Erin Bowman combines great vocals, up-to-the-minute studio sounds, and back-to-the-50s Ukes for a bizarre and interesting take on "It's Only Love." Read more and listen here.
The Big V offer a more traditional rock take on "Misery" -- and the essay accompanying it say that Alan Clarke and Graham Nash (from the Hollies) threw in lyric suggestions that were included in the Beatles version. Yeah, the uke seems like an afterthought, but still, give it a listen.
Sharlotte Gibson brings phased, layered vocals, simple uke lines, and gorgeous string hits to a cover of "Hello Goodbye" that sounds like it could have been a hit in the early 70s. Listen here.