Hand Me Down a Strong Panacea

One that's guaranteed to make me feel like Hercules...

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I feel sick. I can feel the germs creeping into my bloodstream.

Then you should go to the doctor. Before it gets worse.

I don't trust doctors.

Okay.

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I was really mad at you. When you went on that three-day booze cruise and slept with that girl from Finland. The one with the fake tits.

That wasn't me. I've never been on a Cruise. I've never slept with a girl from Finland.

No?

No.

Well then I'm mad at you about leaving for Vegas without me when I was 10 minutes late coming back from Walgreens.

That was your ex-boyfriend. That wasn't me.

Are you sure? I remember running after your ancient BMW.

Your ex had the ancient BMW. It wasn't me. It's not my style to leave without you. It's more my style to wait and stew about it, then resent you for the entire trip.

Oh. Well, then I'm mad at you for forgetting my birthday.

No. I never forgot your birthday. Even when you weren't speaking to me, I'd remember your birthday. And send you cards you never acknowledged.

Oh. Then why am I mad at you?

I don't know. If I knew, I could do something about it.

Oh.

Listen.

I'm here. I'm listening.

I think maybe I need to spend some time alone. Maybe Howard Hughes had it right after all.